Ranking classic STAR TREK.

The classic 1960s Star Trek TV series is one of my favorite shows of all time. In the 1970s and ’80s, Star Trek reruns were one of the best sci-fi things available. Especially to a youngster like me who lived in a rural area with no cable TV.

I’m somewhat obsessive about the show. Especially now, since I have my DVDs of it ripped and readily available on my home media streaming server. Having watched every episode a few times (and favorite episodes several times), I have opinions. I decided I’d start making a few notes as I undertake my latest informal rewatch of the show. And I’m going to start a running, sorted list of Trek episodes from favorite to least favorite. I’ll bump this post back to the top of the blog as I add new episodes.

1. “Journey to Babel”: Action, danger, interpersonal drama, silly aliens, cool aliens, Spock’s parents, a high-stakes diplomatic mission… this episode has it all. And it moves — there isn’t a wasted frame. (good)
2. “Mirror, Mirror”: Iconic for evil Spock’s beard. It’s one of the great Trek episodes, though one has to be at least a little familiar with the characters to really appreciate the evil parallel universe versions. An underrated aspect of this episode is how, back in the “real” universe, the not-evil Enterprise crew immediately recognize evil Kirk as an unhinged jerk and throw him in the brig. (good)
3. “The Trouble With Tribbles”: The funniest classic Star Trek episode, and also one of the best. It’s iconic for a reason. (good)
4. “Arena”: Kirk versus a reptilian Gorn, mano-a-mano. I sometimes forget there’s a lot of cool stuff that happens before the “arena” part — that doesn’t start till about halfway through the episode. Before that there’s an artillery battle and a space chase. Iconic and awesome, and probably the best episode of Trek’s first season. (good)
5. “Amok Time”: Spock must return to his home planet of Vulcan. To mate! Or he’ll die! Spock and Kirk end up fighting each other (for reasons explained in the episode) in one of the series’ most iconic scenes. (good)
6. “The Doomsday Machine”: A planet-killing machine is turning entire solar systems to rubble. Captain Kirk and friends have to figure out a way to stop it while also dealing with an unhinged Starfleet commodore. (good)
7. “Errand of Mercy”: Kirk and Spock try to protect a pacifist society from the Klingons, who make their first appearance in this episode. But the pacifists are uninterested in being protected. John Colicos plays the Klingon leader to perfection. (good)
8. “This Side of Paradise”: The Enterprise crew visits a colony on a remote planet where everyone is happy and healthy. A little too happy and healthy, because of the effect of some weird spores. Iconic for a laughing (and in love with a woman) Mr. Spock. (He returns to his normal emotionless state after Kirk shakes him free from the influence of the spores). (good)
9. “Space Seed”: The episode that introduced Khan and paved the way for the best Trek movie. Ricardo Montalban delivers one of the all-time great Trek guest performances as Khan. (good)
10. “Court Martial”: Courtroom drama (and melodrama, of course) with Captain Kirk on trial for the negligent manslaughter of one of his crew. And Kirk’s lawyer is played by the great Elisha Cook Jr. Yes, please. (good)
11. “The Immunity Syndrome”: Kirk and company travel into some kind of pseudo-black hole and contend with a giant killer space amoeba that is sapping the energy of both the Enterprise and its crew. McCoy keeps the crew going with “stimulants” (amphetemines administered via hypospray) while Spock undertakes a dangerous shuttle mission to investigate the big amoeba. (good)
12. “By Any Other Name”: Strange aliens transform themselves into humans and hijack the Enterprise. But the aliens aren’t prepared for the feelings that come along with being human, and Captain Kirk hatches a plan to play on the aliens’ newfound human failings to win back control of his ship. (good)
13. “Wink of an Eye”: The Enterprise is hijacked by aliens who move so fast they’re invisible to Captain Kirk and his crew. Then the aliens alter Kirk so he moves at their speed, and he has to figure out how to reclaim his ship and get himself back to normal speed. (good)
14. “Catspaw”: AKA “The Halloween Episode.” Kirk, Spock, and McCoy beam down to a spooky planet with witches and a gothic castle and lots of fog. The horror movie trappings are all an illusion created by that time-honored Trek antagonist, a being with godlike powers. But it’s still a fun watch, especially during spooky season. (good)
15. “The Savage Curtain”: It’s kind of like “Arena,” but instead of fighting alone, Kirk has Spock and Space Abraham Lincoln on his side. As silly as that sounds, Space Lincoln is a terrific character, and this is a solid third season episode. (good)
16. “Shore Leave”: The Enterprise crew stops by a lush and green planet for some R-and-R. Then things get weird, most famously with McCoy encountering a giant talking Alice in Wonderland rabbit. (good)
17. “Friday’s Child”: Kirk, Spock, and McCoy beam down to a planet to negotiate mineral rights and end up on the lam after they get tangled up in the politics of the war-happy locals, known as Capellans. Klingons in the neighborhood don’t make the situation any better. And, aside from trying to save their own hides, Kirk and company are also trying to protect a very pregnant Capellan refugee (played the great Julie Newmar). (good)
18. “The Gamesters of Triskelion”: Another “Arena”-style episode. In this one, Kirk, Uhura, and Chekov are space-napped to fight in games for some degenerate gamblers from outer space. Spoiler: Kirk is a pretty good gambler himself, and he beats the gamesters at their own game. (good)
19. “Balance of Terror”: The Enterprise fights a Romulan ship, and it’s staged like a submarine battle. Plus there’s tension on board the Enterprise, as the crew has gotten their first look at the Romulans, and their resemblance to Vulcans has some of the crew suspicious of Mr. Spock. Rough around the edges like most of the early first season episodes, but iconic all the same. (good)
20. “Assignment: Earth”: The Enterprise crew very casually travels back in time to take part in a “backdoor pilot” for what would have been kind of an American version of Doctor Who. The episode prominently features both Teri Garr and a cat, so it’s obviously good. (good)
21. “For the World Is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky”: Good episode, great title. Dr. McCoy has some terminal disease and also falls in love while investigating a giant spaceship that looks like (and that is believed by its occupants to be) a planetoid. It’s a fun mashup of generation starship and hollow earth sci-fi concepts. (good)
22. “The Return of the Archons”: Before there was a Purge, there was Red Hour! (good)
23. “The Squire of Gothos”: Before there was Q, there was Tralane. I need to give this one another rewatch before I decide on its final ranking. (good)
24. “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield”: Another iconic episode, because of the aliens who have faces that are split down the middle black and white. The message kind of overpowers the plot in this one, but it’s a great message, about how racism is stupid and destructive. (good)
25. “Return to Tomorrow”: The Enterprise getting hijacked is something of a Star Trek trope. In this episode, Kirk, Spock, and another crew member (played by Diana Muldaur) have their bodies hijacked by alien entities. Notable for being the first Trek appearance of Muldaur, who played a different character in “Is There in Truth No Beauty?” and a leading role (Dr. Pulaski) in the second season of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Also notable for Kirk’s “Risk is our business” speech, which is maybe iconic? It’s at least a pretty good speech. (good)
26. “The Omega Glory”: This one starts out with a cool mystery (an empty starship where the crew has apparently been turned to crystalline dust) but eventually goes off the rails. I give it some credit for delivering some good action and probably the most WTF ending of the entire classic Trek series. (middling)
27. “That Which Survives”: Kirk and an away team get trapped on a planetoid when the Enterprise is somehow thrown a thousand light years away. Plot-wise it’s fine, but the character work is off. Spock in particular is just way too snarky. (middling)
28. “Elaan of Troyius”: The Enterprise crew must transport an arrogant royal (Elaan of the title) to a planet where she is to be married for political convenience. There’s some espionage and Klingons, which is pretty good. But the diplomacy stuff with Elaan has plenty of cringe-inducing moments. (middling)
29. “Who Mourns for Adonais?”: What if the Greek gods were actually space aliens, and what if the Enterprise crew encountered one of those aliens? Would be better if Scotty didn’t spend so much time mooning over one of his fellow officers. Iconic for the giant green space hand holding the Enterprise. (middling)
30. “A Private Little War”: As far as Kirk getting mixed up with aliens who resemble Stone Age humans, this one is a lot better than “The Paradise Syndrome.” But, hoo boy, there is a lot of Prime Directive breaking going on in this one. In fairness, the Klingons started it. But still. (middling)
31. “Turnabout Intruder”: My biggest gripe with classic Trek is all the misogyny. It’s especially frustrating because Star Trek is generally progressive in other areas. This final episode of the original series is infamous for a huge misogynistic plot point — women are forbidden to be Starfleet captains. So I’m kind of rooting for the “bad guy” in this episode, a woman who snatches Captain Kirk’s body, Freaky Friday-style, so she can finally captain a starship. Shatner, of course, really chews the scenery playing Kirk as “possessed” by a vengeful woman. (middling)
32. “Whom Gods Destroy”: The inmates are running the asylum. And trying to hijack the Enterprise. And the actors playing the inmates are chewing up all the scenery trying to act “crazy.” To add insult to injury, the character played by the great Yvonne Craig is almost suffocated but then gets blown up. It does end on one of those classic gags where Spock has to figure out who is the real Captain Kirk and who is the imposter and then shoot the imposter. All things considered, I guess this is one of the better of the bad episodes. (bad)
33. “Metamorphosis”: There’s an interesting idea here, about a human and an energy being living in a symbiotic relationship. And there’s some important Trek lore, with a guest appearance by Zephram Cochran, the inventor of the show’s warp drive technology. But the execution here is pretty bad. Thematically it’s all over the place, trying for a “love is love” message while also propping up the patriarchy. And Kirk’s initial plan to just kill the energy being is pretty barbaric. (bad)
34. “The Paradise Syndrome”: Kirk and Spock fighting space-Nazis? Classic. Kirk getting amnesia and thinking he is a space-Native-American? Oof. Horrendous cultural insensitivity aside, the b-story (with Kirk missing, the crew of the Enterprise is trying to figure out how to stop an asteroid that is on a collision course with the space-Native-Americans’ planet) ain’t bad. But overall, this one is obviously bad. (bad)
35. “The Alternative Factor”: This one is just a mess — boring and nonsensical. That said, it’s not misogynistic or otherwise offensive. So maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on it. But it’s so boring! (bad)
36. “Is There in Truth No Beauty?”: This episode stirs up a lot of melodrama (and, unfortunately, a lot of casual misogyny) around a Medusan — an alien being with beautiful thoughts whose appearance is so bizarre that seeing it can drive humans mad. It’s a shame — there are several cool sci-fi concepts in the show, but the melodrama and misogyny make it a tough watch. (bad)
37. “The Mark of Gideon”: Spock has to deal with some annoying diplomats when Kirk goes missing. Kirk is on another Enterprise, one that is totally abandoned. Spoiler: the annoying diplomats are responsible for Kirk’s disappearance. And their motivations turn out to be really dumb. (bad)
38. “The Lights of Zetar”: Another “Scotty falls for a crewmate and starts acting goofy” episode. Scotty’s love interest, Lt. Mira Romaine, is quickly possessed by energy beings. It’s not just Scotty who is behaving foolishly — everybody is kind of obnoxious in this episode. And there’s too much misogyny — I lost track of how many times the men refer to Romaine (a Starfleet officer!) as “the girl.” (bad)
39. “Wolf in the Fold”: This one starts with a lot of cringe — Kirk, McCoy, and Scotty are visiting a hedonism planet. Scotty suffered an injury that was a woman’s fault, and now he hates all women, so Kirk and McCoy are apparently planning to get him laid by an exotic dancer so he can get over his misogyny. Oof. At least this one’s not boring. The bad guy here is Jack the Ripper — turns out he’s actually an immortal energy being that feeds on fear. In order to starve out Jack, McCoy prescribes tranquilizers to everyone on board the Enterprise. So the whole crew is high as heck at the episode’s end. (bad)
40. “Miri”: The Enterprise explores a planet exactly like earth (right down to the shape of the shape of the continents). Except it’s all post-apocalyptic. Turns out its been ravaged by a disease that kills people as soon as the become adults. So the only people alive on the planet are kids, including the teenager Miri. She and Kirk start a flirtation, and that plot development is ill-advised to say the least. We find out that, technically, all the kids are hundreds of years old and just aging very slowly. But still, oof. (bad)
41. “The Empath”: Aliens abduct Kirk, Spock, and McCoy and torture them in an attempt to provoke a response from the titular empath. All the torture make this episode a downer. But I’d also like to complain that McCoy names the empath “Gem,” which sounds just like “Jim,” which is what Captain Kirk’s friends call him. So weird! Also, the musical score for this episode is saccharine and syrupy, which is an odd choice given the torture. (bad)

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